We mourn collectively during Covid-19
As the world collectively mourns the life we knew Pre-Covid, we try to find rest in the uncertainty. Every person has been touched by the outcomes of this virus. I heard an interesting perspective from a friend the other day. While we are in the same storm, we are rowing different boats. The side effects are different for each of us. Yet we all struggle. That struggle may have health ramifications, mental stress, emotional anguish, and for some of us new forms of success. The waters look different from each boat. I think it’s important to acknowledge that no one has been left untouched by this pandemic. We all grieve the world we used to know. The way we used to spend our day. The way traffic used to exist, children used to play in parks. We used to be able to hug one another without fear. We weren’t afraid to stand shoulder to shoulder with friends, family and strangers. It’s awkward to be in a grocery store. It feels strange to separate with kindness on city sidewalks. At our very core of being human we do need one another. Social interaction is important to our emotional and mental well-being. This statement is proven by the fact that we come equipped with mirror neurons. The brain tools used to connect and survey the state of one another. There is a huge body of research that looks at loneliness and how social withdrawal can have some staggering health impacts. Leaders are feeling lost without their tribes, without the answers they used to carry. Family’s are missing one another. Professionals, grocery workers, hospitality workers, you name the job title, life has changed. People are experiencing a brutal behavioral shift. We are all grieving collectively. It’s hard to give from an empty cup. The way life was 2 months ago will become history, the way things were before COVID-19. I worry that separation will become so normal that connection and social interaction will be lost. Losing those things will have side effects on our well-being. Please do your best to witness grief, and do not judge it. We all grieve differently. Try to acknowledge the world with love. Understand that we are ALL a little lost right now, and that’s ok. Normal life, the life we had come to know and love is shape shifting every day. Change is hard for most of, even when certainty exists. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be frustrated, it’s ok to grieve. Making connection has become critical. Please reach out to your tribe. Please do your best to show up with love and listen. It’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling. We need to feel our emotions to heal our emotions.
I heard this story yesterday on Brene’ Brown’s podcast, “Unlocking Us.” Have you ever heard the story about the long spoons?
This man is walked into a room, the air is filled with scents of a delicious feast. People are gathered at a huge table with warm food setting in front of them, but they are all gaunt and starving. The spoons next to the feast are 3 feet long. No one can eat. He is then walked into another room, same scene. Delicious food sets on a table, but here everyone is dancing and laughing. They are healthy and enjoying the feast. They have the same spoons: 3 feet long. They are using the spoons to feed one another. He is told, this is the difference between heaven and hell.
Let’s feed one another. Let’s find ways to show up and connect. We need each other. At a very primal level we are social beings. So, make that phone call, get on a zoom link with friends, Facetime, hug the people in your home. Wave at people walking down the street. Find a way to connect. It’s sooooo important to our collective well-being. Judgement demands punishment. Let us step away from judgement and allow people to grieve. We maintain the ability to create love. That’s my personal belief. Let’s show up with love for ourselves and others. I hope this message finds you well and with love. #Bringlovealways #stellarjoyco #emotionalwellness . 4/29/2020